Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
