what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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