His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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