I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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