Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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