We're facebook friends in real life
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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