What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
