i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
