what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
