No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
