I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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