When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
