I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
