dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
