Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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