This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
