There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize