from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
