Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
