After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You've changed since you got that strap on
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
