he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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