i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
