Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nicole vs. Life
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
