Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
