Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
