I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
