A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
