Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
