Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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