don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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