On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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