Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
