just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
