ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
