In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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