i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
