I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize