mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
