Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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