Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
