look no pants
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
