I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You ruined the universe
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
