and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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