She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
