I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
