Cold hands, warm shart.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
