he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
