epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
