My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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