My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
