These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
