We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
