guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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