I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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