your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
