Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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