I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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