Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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