No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
